Can Long Distance Relationships Work For You?

I have always had this thought in my head that long distance relationships (LDR) would be a real challenge and some of those areas include the matter of talking, touching and seeing that special person as often as you want. But i have derived my own strategies of overcoming some of these challenges. It is an understandably difficult commitment to honour if you and your sweetheart decide to keep the relationship going while you are apart. However, it might be difficult due to pressures from various angles but its worth a trial. I really don't think anyone (especially woman) intends to end up in a LDR, but sometimes it just happens. For example, when you meet Mr. Wonderful at your friend's party in Lagos and you live in Abuja or perhaps the Mr. Greatness you have been dating for six months in Texas get sent to Moscow for a year business contract, you won't  necessarily expect him to decline the contract that will favour you both. Below are some of the useful tips I found:  

• Ask the important questions at the onset, to make sure you are both clear on the parameters of the relationship.These can be difficult and awkward questions to ask, but will save you great heartache and misunderstanding down the line. Example: "Are you open to the possibility of relocating if the relationship should become more serious?" or "What are you looking to get out of the relationship?" Stating your end goal or ideas will allow each person to maintain what they need.
• Consider using Skype video chat calls every day, text messaging, phone calls and email every day. It is important to maintain contact and to be in each other's daily lives as much as possible.
• Communicate in some way every day, more than once if possible. Since you won't be seeing each other, it's important to establish and maintain an emotional connection. These don't always have to be long, in-depth conversations. Tell each other about your little triumphs and tragedies, ask for advice. Use an instant messenger program or VoIP for real-time chat, or web cams for that visual connection. E-mail is great so make sure you use it, especially if long-distance phone calls put a strain on your budget. Ensure the e-mails are substantive and detailed, it will show that you care enough to put in the time and effort. Write love letters, send small gifts, cards, or send flowers for no reason.
• Avoid the temptation to be controlling. People have free will and no one can or should control another person. As long as you are both interested in being in the relationship, you will stick with it and distance will not make a difference. As soon as one of you decides the other is not a good match—or someone else is a better match—your relationship ends, whether you live 3000 miles apart, two streets over, or share the same bed with your wedding picture on the wall. You are going to have to trust each other completely if this relationship is going to work.
• Talk about your future together. Assuming that ultimately you'd want to live together, discussing how you're going to get to that point will help you prove to each other that the relationship is going somewhere and that your efforts and frustrations are not in vain.
• Avoid jealousy and be trusting. One of the easiest ways to destroy a perfectly healthy relationship is to poison it with jealousy and drama. When you start a long distance relationship, you must be realistic of the difficulties ahead. It always helps if you go in a relationship with the idea that everyone is innocent and worthy of trust until proven otherwise. Don't fall in the trap of interrogating your partner every time he/she decides to go out for a drink with people you haven't met or he/she didn't get back to you right away when you called and left a message. Just because you are in a long-distance relationship doesn't mean your lives will pause. Your partner will naturally have a social life where he/she lives and so should you. Sure, it helps to have your eyes open and not be totally naive, but being overly suspicious is unhealthy for you and your relationship too. You should both maintain your social activity and be happy with yourselves.
• Give them a personal object of yours so in a time of need, when they miss you, they are able to hold on to something that once belonged to you. This will provide comfort, happiness, and the thought of being with you.
• Remember that you're still in a relationship. You HAVE to be there for your partner. If your partner is ever in trouble, or hurt, or whatever, you have to be there for them.Make sure you are available to them so that they can reach you if they need you. If they end up dealing with everything alone, they will eventually not need you. And sometimes, distance permitting of course, that means being actually, physically there for them.